Home....

Home. I have lived in my city for over 50 years. A long long time. So, I should not have any hesitation in calling it my home. But off late I have been asking myself where exactly is home? Where do I want to be?

Eight years ago, our two daughters left home within a span of a week . Both got into courses away from home and that was the first time the house seemed empty !( yes the home suddenly seemed just four walls ) It took us a while to get used to the emptiness but there were times to look forward to. Weekends, festivals, term holidays. Then the elder one got married and after a while their careers took them abroad, the younger one took a job in another city. 

But she often flew down. That lasted three years, till she went to the US for her masters last year. 

Now the two of us are like gypsies. While we closed our small office that we had for about 20 years, we have nothing to hold us down. We are content as of now, doing something at our pace so that we can pack our bags whenever the kids need us. We spent time with the elder one in London, when she had a baby last year. While I did miss the familiar faces and places, I felt quite at home. That surprised me !

The younger one graduates in a couple of months. After completion of the course she will return to India for a short period again, till she goes back to take on her new assignment. And this morning, her tickets were booked, and she called to say – Yay ! I am coming home soon.

That was the answer. I know even though the children have their separate lives, they need to return to their roots time and again, even though the visits are not that frequent and for shorter stays. It is after all their home. And ours.

A year ...

My daughter and son in law celebrate their first wedding anniversary. We wish them years and years of good health and happiness.

Letting go...

Letting go of kids is difficult for most parents. I am no exception. It is the final 'severing of the umbilical cord'. And rather difficult when you have been a parent for over 20 years.

For most parents this comes at a difficult situation in life. There are job pressures and problems of retirement looming large on the horizon. Financial pressures, health and mid life crises add to the uncertainty. And therefore trying to cope with children moving out or asserting themselves can be rather trying.

For some the 'empty nest syndrome' can also change their marriage. Some couples get along better. Others don't. It becomes imperative that we as parents try living our life alone without the kids. The vision of the old couple sitting on a bench in the park seems larger than life. It almost seems like the initial days of marriage- just the two - but different - since life has revolved around the kids for over two decades- it can get very very lonely.

It is said that saying goodbye to the children does not mean you are losing them but it should put the relationship on a new footing. And so it shall be. After all our main purpose was to help them grow to be mature and independent young adults. It is time they take charge of their lives. It is time for us to let them go. But we still remain their parents - and that job is never really done as long as they need us.