Reality cooking and cooking reality

I am hooked to reality cooking shows.  Or any food show for that matter. Vigorous stirring, basting, a swirl, a toss and that touch of beautiful garnish.  The fancy kitchen equipment, blenders, sauces with even fancier names.

Anyway, work can throw some strange surprises. And here I was helping organise a cooking contest for a publication. Not like the reality shows that we see on TV where you hear the chef scream ' the clock is ticking away... nine, eight, seven. ...' So exciting, so much pressure. But this was different. Cooking had to be completed at home. The evaluation at the venue, by a chef.

I offered to help with the registration of participants. I thought it couldn't be difficult.  I did not foresee the amount of time or the energy required.. and it has indeed been an experience.  For one, we had to deal with  women who called, messaged and mailed constantly. 

Each call was different.  There were some wonderful ladies.  They wasted no time. Asked for relevant information and were brief and to the point.  There were others who just wanted to prolong the conversation.  It seemed they wanted someone to talk to, and it did not matter if you were a willing listener or not. A lady recited a poem.  Another wrote a long mail and said she was a woman of many talents.  Could she also sing at the contest after presenting her dish?

We even had a male who called and argued that it was unfair that only women could participate.  Don't you think men make better cooks?  I am sure they do.  Especially when they venture into the kitchen to make an exotic dish occasionally. 

There were students, housewives, working women, retired professionals and very senior citizens. And for them it was not just an ordinary cooking contest. Believe me it is a competitive world out there. I began to understand the term  'insider information'. The conversation would go on fine, and suddenly a change in tone, lowering of voice... and then the question.. how many had registered? Which category has the least number? Which dish won the prize at the last week's contest? What stands a better chance? Do you think I should make this particular dish and so on... It was not easy handling this type.  Now, I can also fathom the pressures on those in the stock market or sporting world.  Some kind of dish-fixing this?

The enthusiasm of the women just put me to shame. If only it were contagious! I can twist an old phrase - you can lead a woman to the kitchen, but to can't always make her cook.  And in my case that's reality.. 

Bow Wow Yoga

Bow Wow Yoga is a book ( and no, I have not read it) – by Gerry Olin Greengrass – who watched her dog stretch his paws and raise its behind effortlessly. Yoga was what came to her mind. And she has in this book ( according to the review on Amazon.com) given a hilarious account of what she has termed Canine Yoga with illustrations.

In contrast, my niece A posted this picture on fb– of herself doing the Surya Namaskaram under the watchful eyes of her canine gurus

I loved it. ( Picture taken by P )

The 'Classy'fied Ad

Have you noticed that classified ads for houses have undergone a makeover? They read a lot like matrimonial ads.


Only superlatives.

While it is good looking/well educated / good family / tall, beautiful, handsome in the matrimonial ad, it is  beautiful, classy, posh, state of the art for the house.

Nothing short of being located in a posh locality. Italian flooring…. designed by international certified architect…. It does not matter if the rooms are match box sized, but the apartment you are viewing is a deluxe three bedroom.

Of course, we are great ones for vaastu. East facing, north-east facing, 100% vaastu compliant they say. The master has to occupy a particular bedroom even if it is the worst, only because it is ‘right direction facing’. I am not sure how it could be as per vaastu when the room has no natural lighting. Do you think experts have lost the core of vaastu science?

The park facing room is one which overlooks an unkempt open piece of land full of weeds and scraggly bushes. The one facing a lake is a threat, a heavy downpour and your home could pass off for a fortress with a moat. Stone throw from a school could mean that you would have to live with badly parked cars, autorickshaws and school buses.

A bit of luck is what you need. The title may be good, the papers may be clear, sign on the dotted line…. Move in and then you realize the impact of your decision. Are we talking of the house or the spouse?

( picture source : http://www.thepropertybuzz.com/ )

Pains of Parenthood

It is difficult when kids leave home.
When they are living far away. And when they are unwell, it is even worse. It could even be a slight cold. Or a touch of fever.


The elder one told me the other day that she was feeling slightly under the weather. Its crazy , but I immediately had ‘sympathetic pains’( I know it sounds silly, but it's true!). And told her so.

Her reaction –‘Are you sure they are sympathetic pains?’ 'Nothing serious?'

‘Do you need to go to the doctor?’

A week later scene shifts to the younger one. I am worried sick. At least the elder one is married. She has someone to take care of her.  But this one, poor thing is on her own.  With another roommate as young as her.  Again the sympathetic pains. I know I should not tell her, but I do.

‘I have these sympathetic pains’.

‘Don’t be silly’. ‘You are only trying to get some attention away from me!!’

For a moment, she does not sound weak and ill.
Am I offended? No, not one bit. I am reassured.

All Izz Well...

The Bull In A China Shop

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/ato/lowres/aton1688l.jpg

……Taking off from the last post of animals in Indian crafts…

After drawing on caves, man also proceeded to record them in literature. Stories woven around animals as in Aesop’s Fables. They also found worthy mention in the Bible. And this continued in modern literature and speech.

I came across this article where the author writes that animals apart from clothing and feeding many of us, they do much—metaphorically speaking—to make our language as colourful as it is. From as mad as a box of frogs to bats in the belfry, and from as proud as a peacock to being up to your armpits in alligators.

Consider the ‘man’s best friend ‘ – the dog – is often a part of our daily conversation. Think about it, you have been ‘working like a dog', 'leading a dog’s life', being 'dog tired', while someone else is the ‘lucky dog’!

And what would we do without the adorable Snoopy, the feline Garfield, the imaginary Hobbes….

Our generation was brought up with serious poems as To a Skylark or The Ode to a Nightingale . So, it was a pleasant change being introduced to Ogden Nash through my daughter’s text book. And his animal kingdom inspired poems are always fun to read.

The Wasp
The wasp and all his numerous family
I look upon as a major calamity.
He throws open his nest with prodigality,
But I distrust his waspitality.

The Octopus
Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.

The Cow
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

I leave you with Winston Churchill’s famous quote - A cat looks down upon a man, and a dog looks up to a man, but a pig will look a man in the eye and see his equal.

Well?

Why Don't People Laugh Anymore?

A lot has been said about Shashi Tharoor and his tweet (for the story click here). If the folks in power did not find it funny, the least they could have done was keep silent instead of branding Tharoor as insensitive. I am sure he had no intention to hurt anyone. It was a spontaneous reply to a question. I personally found it funny, though I do think he should tweet less and work more.

A child they say laughs around 300 times a day. As he grows to an adult he laughs less, as few as 15 times a day. The Indian politician, not only stops laughing but loses his sense of humour.

I think more of our politicians could do with some laughter and cheer. It is ironical that Tharoor seems to have forgotten his earlier writings. Much before he joined the political scene, he wrote in The Hindu ( 2001), that as far as political humour is concerned, our national cupboard is bare. The Indian nationalist leaders and the politicians, he said, are a humourless lot; and if the incidence of wit and humor in national politics is a fair indication of the health of a democracy, India could use a good laugh.

Well, not everyone can be an Al Gore. He lost a closely fought election and one would think he would be very bitter person. But the former presidential candidate for a long time began his speeches with “Hello, my name is Al Gore, and I used to be the next president of the United States.” And it won him many admirers.

Humour, especially in public life or in general can help defuse a tense situation. One can even play safe by allowing the joke to be targeted at themselves, to ensure none are offended. Self-deprecation has its advantages. Psychologist Michael Cunningham says "Self-effacing humor isn't threatening because it points out that a someone is confident enough to risk looking silly." But a word of caution - Don’t poke fun at yourself simply so someone else defends the opposite. This will appear manipulative and narcissistic.

Laughter they say is good for health, and triggers release of endorphins, the natural painkillers and induces a sense of well being. As Grouch Marx is reported to have said ...yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it

www.chrismadden.co.uk/wordpress/?p=33 - cartoon source